Read the passage below which comes from http://ca.mg2.mail.yahoo.com/dc/launch?.rand=8bh3tdq4ub061 and you will get an idea of what Yom Kippur is truly about... and how we have to decide if we are able to make all the necessary apologies or to forgive those who apologize to us...
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The Jewish Holiday of Yom Kippur
Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, is the most sacred of the Jewish holidays, the "Sabbath of Sabbaths."
By Yom Kippur the 40 days of repentance, that begin with the first of Elul, have passed. On Rosh Hashanah G-d has judged most of mankind and has recorded his judgement in the Book of Life. But he has given a 10 day reprieve.
On Yom Kippur the Book of Life is closed and sealed. Those that have repented for their sins are granted a good and happy New Year.
Since Yom Kippur is the day to ask forgiveness for promises broken to G-d, the day before is reserved for asking forgiveness for broken promises between people, as G-d cannot forgive broken promises between people.
Yom Kippur is a day of "NOT" doing. There is no blowing of the Shofar and Jews may not eat or drink, as fasting is the rule. It is believed that to fast on Yom Kippur is to emulate the angels in heaven, who do not eat, drink, or wash.
The Five Prohibitions of Yom Kippur
Eating and drinking
Anointing with perfumes or lotions
Marital relations
Washing
Wearing leather shoes
While Yom Kippur is devoted to fasting, the day before is devoted to eating. According to the The Talmud the person "who eats on the ninth of Tishri (and fasts on the tenth) , it is as if he had fasted both the ninth and tenth." Prayer is also down played so that Jews can concentrate on eating and preparing for the fast.
On the eve of Yom Kippur the community joins at the synagogue. Men put on prayer shawls (not usually worn in the evenings). Then as the night falls the cantor begins the "Kol Nidre", it is repeated 3 times, each time in a louder voice. The Kol Nidre emphasizes the importance in keeping vows, as violating an oath is one of the worst sins.
An important part of the Yom Kippur service is the "Vidui" (Viduy) or confession. The confessions serve to help reflect on ones misdeeds and to confess them verbally is part of the formal repentance in asking G-d's forgiveness. Because community and unity are an important part of Jewish Life, the confessions are said in the plural (We are guilty).
As Yom Kippur ends, at the last hour a service called "Ne'ila" (Neilah) offers a final opportunity for repentance. It is the only service of the year during which the doors to the Ark (where the Torah scrolls are stored) remain open from the beginning to end of the service, signifying that the gates of Heaven are open at this time.
The service closes with the verse, said 7 times, "The L-rd is our G-d." The Shofar is sounded once and the congregation proclaim - "Next year in Jerusalem."
Yom Kippur is over.
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There are people who I know I should apologize to for various things that I have not apologized to in more than two years. There are some to whom I'm not sure I'll ever apologize to as I sometimes find it hard to get past the fact that I know they will never apologize for their part in the conflict. Yes, this sounds terribly childish and yes it's only my actions that I can do anything about, but it is something that I will struggle with until I can make it better on my end.
Do you think you could forgive everyone their sins against you?? Do you think they could forgive you what you have done to them?? It's pretty big when you think about it. Although holding grudges does nothing but increase your blood pressure and hurt your health - mental, physical and emotional - it's hard to let go. It feels like you're then condoning their actions and how can you do that while holding true to your principles?
Well, I believe that the phrase "kill them with kindness" can play into this holiday's spirit in the sense that you forgive them so that you don't dwell on it and you apologize for wrongs you have committed so that it doesn't bind you to the past. When you are bound to anything, especially the past, you can't truly enjoy the present and you have a very difficult and uphill battle to get to the future joys awaiting you.
My primary issue stems from an event in my family's life that happened September 20, 2005. My darling four week old baby niece, Charlie, was ripped from our lives when SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) took her life. She died at four weeks old ON her great-grandmother's 75th birthday and IN her great-grandmother's home!! So my big beef is with God...... and I can't even sit face to face with "him" and hash it out. My heart is heavy with it all but I resent the hell out of this "supreme being" who thought it fit to take my baby sister's little angel baby from her in such a horrific manner. How can I apologize for the resentment and pure hatred I've felt for this action?? How can I ask forgiveness for doubting "his" very existence and love??
I'd had other issues prior to this but was usually able to overcome them... I'm not sure there's any chance of that right now.......
